This article’s purpose is to begin to open and honestly explore modern sexual issues from my personal perspective. The reason for this expose is that proper sexual expression is essential to having a worthwhile experience as a human being. The area of the body where the sexual organs are located is the most powerful physical center we possess, the hip and groin girdle. When this area is blocked or diseased it can be nearly impossible to enjoy being alive. Sexual satisfaction is critical to the Healing Arts experience and I hope you find this, the first in a series of articles which focus to expand our acceptance and understanding of what it can means to be healthy sexual beings, to be of interest to you.
Peace, Jujupoogie The Monk 4/1/07
Sex, that most infamous of three letter words, how do you feel when you see it written? Hear it spoken in conversation? Do you become excited, nervous, uncomfortable or indifferent? Sex. What word means so many different things to so many different people? For some it represents the highest communication between individuals; for others it is considered a subject that from the beginning of time to this day remains taboo. Sex.
The focus of this article is to highlight and explore the key experiences and sexual lessons of a 34 year old, Generation X male in this, the get-your-freak-on-age. When has there ever been a time in recorded history that an individual could experience and learn as much about sexuality as one can today? So why be nice about it? There are a variety of ways to express overt sexuality. From hardcore porn to tantric enlightenment, it’s all there to be absorbed, if not personally then on the Internet including homosexuality, bisexuality, transvestites, transsexuals, underaged sex, sado-masochism, even people having sex with animals. ANIMALS. We come in all types I guess.
The point is that sex is everywhere, and why not. It is a real and valid aspect of life. Without it, there would be no life. That being said, why then is there so much confusion and pain involved in something we all seem to want so much. Human behaviors such as rape, incest, and molestation come to mind. Stories abound of men, making private appointments with the family physician hoping to alleviate impotence and resulting in doctors prescribing drugs to allow men to function. The subject has been endlessly researched and debated resulting in statistic filled statements and studies being issued and conclusions being drawn. We are inundated with it, saturated by it, obsessed with it, really. Sex
We celebrate sex in our music. We market sex in our advertisements. We seek to empower ourselves by enhancing our ability to attract the most attractive partner and the most intense or favorable sexual experience in our relationships. What other activity crosses so many cultural boundaries except perhaps commerce? None! Period. We worship it. Let’s be honest sex is the religion of the younger generations. The days of Puritan, sexually repressed self-sacrifice are at an end.
In today’s world, everyone seeks the ultimate experience of living. A fulfilling sex life is seen as a right not a privilege. Strange, it was only 50 short years ago we were watching Leave it to Beaver, a TV world in which the word sex was never mentioned and husbands and wives slept in separate beds. Now it’s Sex and The City, a world in which the title speaks for itself! It represents a type of time warp, a worm-hole, no pun intended. Serious minded individuals must question what’s happening so that we can determine how we are being affected by these experiences. Otherwise we risk being thrown off balance by forces that may be beyond our ability to control, given that the energy of creation is monumental in its significance to the experience of life.
Speaking personally, my formal sexual education began with teachings from my mother who, being an educated and open-minded woman, blessed and cursed me with my first book on said topic at the tender age of 6. I say blessed for the obvious benefit of learning the information contained within the book, but cursed as the enjoyment of sex is a thing of the body and heart not the intellect. It is experienced most fully, when the intellect is still. It would take years of focused work for me to unlearn many of the habits that my mind had picked up from years of thinking and fantasizing about the act. (Brothers if you learn anything about sex, let it be to please stay present with your woman during love making. If you're gonna touch her, make her feel like she's the only woman in the world. Otherwise go masturbate, cause that's all you would be doing anyway.)
I remember it was a small, hard-backed book filled with wonderful pictures. The book that my mother had given me. The pictures were of the different ways plants, animals and at the end of the book people, reproduce and bear offspring. I found that book to be fascinating and read it more times then I can remember.
Putting the information to use, as would any thorough scientist, I had my first sexual experience the next year when I was 7. It happened at the home of some friends of my mother. They had a beautiful daughter, and she and I were close comrades in play. One day while the adults were occupied doing grown up things, my companion and I found ourselves in her bedroom, on the bed, underneath the sheets and in close contact. Our union was intimate. To this day I remember the lucid clarity of the moment as she revealed her excitement to me followed by my exposure to her. Nothing like those first times, huh. It was a quite normal way to discover one’s own sexuality. How else does it happen, if you really think about it… on your wedding night? I suppose for some, but for me this was it. Unfortunately we soon moved to another part of town.
A well-kept secret among most men is that many also engaged in sex play with other males during boyhood. Don’t lie guys you know you did it. Children are androgynous we learn our sexual roles. We were kids alone exploring our bodies and that’s what children do. We would expose ourselves, comment on the size and shape of each other’s members, pretend pillows were beautiful girls and dry hump on them. We would grow erections, sword fight with our penises and all sorts of homoerotic stuff. As with all things, some take it further then others.
For me this sort of behavior ended quite naturally when I hit puberty and became sexually mature. For some of the guys it never ended. That’s why I sincerely believe homosexuality is both genetic and a choice. Some men definitely are born to be lovers of men. There were always boys open to acting out the feminine roll in those games… always a “gay” boy, a male who was romantically attracted to other males and played the receptive role in that attraction because it was their nature to have crushes on other boys, emotional attachments, the whole nine yards. Though I find it difficult to understand how people of the same sex feel that sense of romantic love for one another, because it is something that I have never experienced I can respect that others do feel that type of connection.
I believe that for most of boys and some grown men it is a simple exchange whatever the sort, of friction for physical pleasure, something a person with few boundaries, attracted to the idea of physical contact, but not heartfelt or romantic filled longing, might do. The stimulation could have been a piece of bologna or the crack between couch cushions for all most little boys care.
Prison life is an example of dissolved sexual boundaries compromised by the sex drive thereby creating homosexual acts between people who ordinarily would not engage in homosexual activity. Some seek the opportunity to dominate another, plain and simple or vice versa. Many men are addicted to ejaculating and have to have an outlet for that behavior no matter what. We do all things for all reasons. As humans we are capable of anything. The question we must ask ourselves is does this behavior or that behavior serve our purpose for being. Then be able to live with said decision.
As I continued to observe matters of sex as it was represented in my world, I soon found pornography. You can imagine I’m sure that I began to be on the lookout for certain magazines (this was before video). I was absolutely mesmerized. Who were these women? My God how could they be so bold, so brazen, so unashamed of their bodies as to adopt these poses for a magazine! I was blown away. How? What? Why? Who? All I had was questions.
So I began to read the stories, not just look at the photos, which I came to enjoy even more than the pictures. As I read and my mind would create such a clear image of the scene, when I hit puberty, during sleep I would search out and find dream lovers to copulate with. That, is believe it or not, how I experienced my first orgasms.
Would I have nocturnally emitted semen if I had not been exposed to this material? There are those who would argue either way. Nevertheless that was my experience at the time, interesting maybe, but the fact is that I was being exposed to other people’s sexual behaviors at an early and impressionable age, and it remained to be seen whether it would be to my benefit or to my detriment. To be continued….
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| Open up brothers, open up. |
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